Frequently On occasion, I have been accused of being hyperbolic. How can everything be the best thing you’ve ever had? said my older daughter once. And she’s right, of course: not everything is the best. But some things are. And if you really want to know, here is a list of some of the best things out there. And by best what I mean is the best. Obviously, I realize this list is purely subjective. But it’s also completely true.
Best season: fall. I think upstate New York was made precisely for this season, you know?
Best apples: macouns. Obviously.
Best show on TV ever: Breaking Bad. Seriously. I can’t think of anything I have seen in the past ten years that is as good as this show. It is probably the closest thing to perfect you will ever see. That is, if you like stunningly compelling writing, acting, and directing, which I assume you might. (Plus I’m so totally impressed by the way Jesse can make anything sound fantastic just by ending his sentences with the word “bitch.”)
Best-smelling flowers: hyacinths, peonies, lilacs, roses
Best British comedy: Peep Show. Every single episode of this show is hilariously funny, which is pretty remarkable and reason enough to start watching it. Channel 4 describes it as a show about “two dysfunctional flatmates who reveal all their inner thoughts,” which is correct, I suppose, but really I suggest that you just start watching it already.
Best cocktail accessory: Rose’s lime juice. How I love vodka gimlets! Why, you could just make one for yourself right now. Here’s the recipe: one part vodka to one part Rose’s lime juice. Done! Did you know Rose’s has been around since 1867? The Rose family were Scottish shipbuilders, and they provided lime juice for all ocean-going ships in order to prevent scurvy, which was required by the Merchant Shipping Act of 1867. Now you can use Rose’s at home to prevent scurvy on a regular basis! Note: In the United States, it contains high fructose corn syrup, of course, but I try not to let that stop me.
Best packaged frozen dessert: Trader Joe’s mango and cream bars. After a bunch of hours watching Peep Show and drinking vodka gimlets, these are exactly what you want. But is that the best time to have them? No, because they are perfect at any time! That’s the thing about Trader Joe’s and their insanely delicious idiosyncratic treats. There is nothing quite like them!
Best salad dressing: The balsamic vinaigrette they serve at Baba Louie’s. What do they do to make it so good? I don’t know. I even asked and they listed like five ordinary ingredients. But I’m telling you, it’s insane. Their pizza is quite good too.
Best sunsets: The ones I see outside my bedroom window. My house is up on a hill here and I look out directly at the setting sun. It’s truly gorgeous. Every single day!